The War In My Heart
by khar1na
Summary: The war has been won, and peace has been returned to the universe once more, but not all of the struggles are won as Keith struggles with his newfound feelings for and teammate Lance. However, after an accident occurs during the celebrations that leave Lance deaf and some of their closest friends dead. How will Keith juggle his feelings for Lance and the leadership of Voltron?


Today was it, the day the war would finally be done.

Peace would finally be in Voltron's gasp.

The celebration was large, of course it would be. The galaxy had finally gotten rid of it's Galra overlords, and the remainder of the Galran empire had either surrendered or ran to uncharted planets. The war had lasted for five, heart-wrenching years of pain and suffering throughout the entire universe, and within that time entire races and planets had gone extinct. At times, it felt like there was no end in sight. When the news had come through that Voltron had finally vanquished the Galran threat, everyone was ecstatic. Of course, it would take many years for all of the old wounds to finally close. But, it was over. That's all that mattered to Keith.

Until Keith realized things weren't so simple for him, it wasn't just defending the universe from the bad guys anymore. No, nothing felt simple after he began to catch himself up late at night, thinking about the one teammate who drove him nuts. Whether it was flirting with every creature in the entire universe or just overall being obnoxious- What did he even mean by that stupid chant thing!? But, if Keith and Lance were "rivals", and weren't even close in the first place..

Why did Keith always want to be close to him?

Why does it feel so right to be in his arms?

Why is Lance's smile making his heart race?

It doesn't make sense.

These thoughts haunted him, thoughts of being more than a rivals, teammates, or even friends with him. Eventually, Keith began to feel frustrated and angry with himself. It's weird, right? Guys shouldn't like other guys- At least, that's what he thought. Sometimes, Keith didn't really understand much when it came to things back home on earth, he did fine in school and such other than when his temper got in the way but when it came to social trends and things like that it didn't make much sense to him.

Keith began to self loathe over these thoughts, shutting himself away from his team at times and growing colder, isolating his feelings from his goal of protecting the universe as the Black Paladin. Whenever his teammates tried to find out why he was suddenly acting this way, he'd get angry and tell them that he isn't acting any differently.

 _Great job, Keith. Now your only friends despise you because you can't control your temper._

However, today Keith was standing amongst his closest friends, watching as princess- _Queen_ Allura, gave her speech to the thousands of people in front of her. All of them gathered from across the galaxy just to celebrate the end of the Galran Empire's grip on the universe, to celebrate the victory of Voltron.

So, today Keith decided he would be happy. Although he wasn't certain if he was truly happy. Although that thought was ridiculous, the war was won and he stood amongst his closest friends as they addressed the galaxy. But he knew deep down, there was still a war being waged.

The war within his own heart.

Keith's expression was stoic, and unreadable. He just stared into the space in front of him, blocking out all of the noise around him as he was lost in thought, this was soon interrupted once he suddenly felt a small, but sharp pain shoot through his arm.

"Ow!" Keith exclaimed, rubbing his arm as he turned his attention to the familiar tall boy in red, standing in front of him.

"Lighten up, man." Lance grinned mischievously before continuing, "This is a celebration of us winning the war- Not a funeral!"

Keith furrowed his eyebrows and crossed his arms, feeling annoyed. He was twenty-four and still hadn't really gotten much better at controlling his temper, he made an absent minded mental note to try and work on that.

"It kind of is, Lance. Do you know how many lives were lost, do you even realize how disresp-"

The rest of his words were muffled as Lance covered his mouth with a hand, eventually removing it once Keith's rant seemed to be over, although this seemed to only make Keith more pissed. Lance's expression and tone turned serious suddenly, and he let out a soft sigh.

"I know, and I'm sorry if it seemed that way. But we should make the best out of it, instead of staying angry and sad, we should try to be happy for them instead-" Lance was scratching his head, noticeably feeling more awkward. "..If that makes sense?"

Keith stood there dumbfounded, his face turning a light shade of pink as he began to feel embarrassed. What happened to Lance? Had he grown up more than he had? He looked down, before eventually replying in a quieter, calmer tone.

"Yeah.. You're right I'm sorry."

Lance suddenly pulled Keith into a firm hug, which confused him even more. A light blush now spread across his cheeks, as his heart began to race but at the same time he felt a bit calmer.

"..Lance."

"I'm here for you, man." Lance pulled away and smiled at him, and continued softly,

"You're one of my best friends, I'll always be here."

Keith's heart felt like it had stopped. For some reason, those words stung far worse than they made him feel better. He felt an uncontrollable surge of emotion wash over him, and he fought the sudden urge to run away, to cry and scream into the heavens. He gulped, and managed to mutter in a shaky, quiet tone,

"Yeah, okay."

Lance was visibly taken back by Keith's words, and he stood there awkwardly.

"Well, uh.. I'm gonna go chill with Hunk, maybe talk about our game plan for all the babes that'll be hanging around here. We'll talk later, yeah?"

And with that, Lance walked away from him. All he wanted to do was reach out to Lance, pull him close and tell him the truth about the extent of his feelings for him, to make sure he wouldn't leave him, like everyone else seems to do at some point. Tears began to well up in his eyes, as he stared at his back as he walked away from him.

Today felt more like a loss than a victory to Keith.

Once Keith realized he was crying, he suddenly excused himself and ran off into another room from within the castle. Once he found himself in a quiet place, he dropped to the ground, his back against a wall as he clutched his knees. Silent tears falling to the ground as he struggled to find the courage to go back out there and face his friends. He was supposed to be the Black Lion, a pillar of strength and a leader to Voltron. What kind of leader hides from his own emotions?

Keith desperately attempted to brush the tears- _the pain_ away. Why couldn't he just be normal, why couldn't he have just been a normal human being like everyone else? First, he's half alien and now…

He's hopelessly in love with the Red Paladin. Even the thought of it makes his heart race, half with anxiety and half with what he could only describe as excitement.

However, all of these thoughts vanished when he picked up a strange conversation happening outside of the room he was residing in. He tip toed towards the edge of the door, pressing against the wall as he tuned in to the sounds happening all around him.

"You have one chance, don't blow it." A gruff voice spoke, Keith assumed he was male by the tone of his voice, and not long afterwards a voice replied to the original one, but in a language he couldn't understand. He now felt even more suspicious, and wanted to find out what the hell their intentions were, even if it seemed a little rash over just a few words.

Keith stepped out of the room, following the sight of a tall figure in a dark cloak which he assumed to be the source of the voice. He pushed himself through the crowd aggressively, being far too worried and angry to stop now. He was suddenly stopped in his tracks when he felt someone grab him by his forearm tightly, and they ripped him closer to them.

A tall, alien man was staring at him with an angry expression. "Who the hell do you think you are? You can't just shove my wife like that!"

Keith's eyes widened and he glanced around for the source of the man's anger, and much to his disbelief there was a tiny, almost toddler sized alien sitting there crying. "I- Uh, I'm sorry.." The man tightened his grip and raised his fist, screaming profanities into the smaller man's face. Keith began to feel rage boil in his chest, thinking about the fact that the suspicious stranger and his accomplice have probably gotten away and it's all because of an extremely sensitive (albeit tiny) alien woman and her jackass of a husband. Keith broke free from his grip, and pushed him harshly into the ground.

"Just SHUT UP!" His voice was loud, and his tone was harsh. The noise caused a few of the people around them to turn and face him, which made him realize that he was perhaps a little too harsh, so he softened his tone. "Look.. I just need to make sure L- my friends are okay. I'll make it up to you both later." Keith awkwardly shuffled away and eventually managed to squeeze into a quiet spot, where he looked for the cloaked figure and any sight of a possible accomplice, eventually catching sight of something that made his heart stop.

"Lance- NO!"


End file.
